Thursday, June 18, 2009

Days 46-49 - Heather Speaks Out

I'm continuing to only intermittently post while on leave, but the following was too exciting not to make available immediately.

After finally being able to watch the movie, Sir! No Sir!, that I previously referenced on Day 23, my wife, Heather, unbeknownst to me, wrote the attached letter to the movie's producers. While I had been vaguely aware that she had written someone after we finished the movie, I hadn't given it a second thought until today, when I stumbled on the letter which is posted on the Sir! No Sir! website at the following link.


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Thank you Adam (and everyone who was part of "Sir! No Sir!"),

My husband, Daniel, and I just finished watching "Sir! No Sir!", and my first impulse was to immediately write to you all. Daniel is in the middle of attempting to obtain a discharge from the Navy as a conscientious objector, and I don't feel like I can adequately express how meaningful it was for me to watch the film and realize that we're not alone.

After having "served" for six months in Guantanamo Bay, Daniel came home as a very subdued and troubled version of his former self. For more than a year, he and I struggled with how to make sense of the things that he had witnessed and experienced there. I include myself in his struggle because of the fact that he received no validation of his questioning from the limited mental health resources that were made available to him upon his return home.

This meant that I was his sounding board, safety net, and psychologist for the past year and a half, hardly roles that I am well equipped to fulfill, especially while trying to maintain my own sanity. Watching him try to make sense of his participation in war has forced me to question so many of the things that I have been taught about war, government, America, and obedience. I've done a complete 180 in my views and was actually the one who suggested that he research conscientious objection because of how distressed he was over his continued involvement with the military.

Despite this, I have often felt very alone in this process. Daniel wasn't part of a unit that was sent to Guantanamo Bay; he was essentially loaned out by himself to another command. This meant that there was no one who had gone through it all with him to talk with about it when he came home. Filing for conscientious objector status has proven to be a rather solitary experience as well. It was months after he made the decision to file before he found another sailor who had successfully obtained a discharge. As a fairly introverted person, I've found it similarly difficult to find people who were sympathetic enough to the situation that I could speak freely with them.

And then we watched "Sir! No Sir!" In one sense, it was horrifying to know what sorts of atrocities were perpetrated by the U.S. government against both innocent foreigners and its own citizens. At the same time, I felt relief wash over me as I realized that there are hundreds of thousands of people in this country who have, at the very least, risked imprisonment rather than fight a war. There was an entire movement that forced the U.S. government, with all its impressive technology, to retreat. I was born almost a decade after the Vietnam War was over, so I have no first-hand knowledge of that time.

As you're well aware, the "history" that I was fed in government schools is significantly different than the events that you presented. It gives me so much hope to know that the American people themselves have ended at least one war before, which means that they can do it again. It's gotten a lot harder because the government has gotten better at managing its image, has created a perception of a "voluntary" military, and has isolated many people from being face to face with the consequences of their participation in war.

Still, seeing the courage of those who were willing to be ridiculed, beaten, court-martialed, and imprisoned for their insistence that they would not participate in immoral actions was incredibly encouraging. It caused me to think that there must be additional ways for me to actively oppose the current wars that the U.S. government is perpetrating. I don't feel quite so alone now, and I feel like I've had the drink of cool water that I needed to keep going in a stressful situation.

Thank you again for speaking out about the experiences of so many others who have been in even more difficult situations and come through with their integrity intact.

Heather Lakemacher

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I haven't a clue as to how I would be able to cope with all that has, and is continuing to happen, were it not for the incredible empathy, insight, and companionship of Heather. I believe I first told her more than eight years ago that she is the love of my life, the woman of my dreams, and above all, she's my best friend. Amazingly, despite how much we've both changed in the intervening years, these claims are no less true today than when I first made them.


Heather's Letter: Sir! No Sir! Blog

General Website: http://www.sirnosir.com/